Photographs are the least reliable part of choosing a sober living house. Any house can be photographed well, and the ones with the most money for photography are not always the ones with a manager awake at night. If a house will not let you visit before you commit, that is the end of the assessment. Assuming they will, here is what to look at.
The kitchen
Go there first. A kitchen tells you whether chores are real: whether there is a rota anybody follows, whether the fridge is labelled and edible, whether the bin was emptied this week. A house with a functioning kitchen has a functioning culture. A house where the kitchen has quietly been abandoned has given up on the parts of the programme nobody enjoys.
The bedrooms and how many men are in them
Ask how many men sleep in each room, what storage you get, and whether anything locks. Shared rooms are normal and not a problem in themselves — early recovery is not supposed to be solitary — but you should know the number before you arrive, not after.
The noticeboard
Look for the boring paperwork: the house rules, the chore rota, the meeting schedule, the curfew, the emergency numbers, the FARR certificate. A wall with nothing on it usually means a house with nothing behind it. FARR certification is verifiable, so ask to see it and check the name matches the operator.
The other residents
Ask to speak to one without staff standing there. Two questions do most of the work: how long have you been here, and what happened the last time someone in this house relapsed? Men will tell you the truth, and how freely they answer says as much as the answer.
Who is on shift, and who is on at night
Meet the house manager if you can. Ask how long they have been sober, whether they live on the property, how many residents they are responsible for, and who covers the overnight. The correct question is not whether someone is on call — it is whether anybody is actually in the building.
The paperwork before the deposit
Ask to read, on the visit: the house rules, the testing policy including the panel, the written relapse policy, and the money — rate, deposit, what is included, refund position. Anything promised verbally and not written down should be treated as not promised. And walk away from any offer that resembles recruitment: free rent tied to a specific treatment centre, a paid first month, pressure to change insurance. Patient brokering is a crime in Florida.
The neighbourhood, on foot
Stand outside for five minutes. How far is the nearest bus stop, how quiet is the street at night, and is there anywhere within walking distance to be when the house feels small? In North Miami Beach the answers are usually good — parks, the water, Aventura a short ride away — but check the specific block rather than the city.
Come and see ours
The Foundry's Lakehouse is at 871 NE 182nd Terrace, North Miami Beach, FL 33162: men-only, FARR-accredited, with a backyard on the water. Call (954) 817-7143 and come look at the kitchen. Bring the list above and use it on us before you use it on anyone else.
Next: how to judge the best house for yourself and what the first 30 days look like.
